Soooo, I really don’t get into the gossip stuff on my site, but when it involves one of my favorite artists, it’s hard not to be like, “dang!” Lately, there have been a lot of rumors flying around that Chris Brown and Rihanna are back together (an issue in itself), but I came across this video and I think it can shed some light on things…after all, he finally admits to loving two women. Check it out and let me know your thoughts:
Relationships
***New Music*** Drake ft. Dawn Richard “Where Were You?”
Check out Drake’s new track, featuring Dawn Richard, Where Were You. Of course I love it, but let me know your thoughts in the comment section!
It’s Time to Get Real! F What You Think!
I’d just like to start by saying that I’m not sorry for what you are about to read. This is my blog, this is my mind and it’s every bit of my prerogative to share what I want with the world. Call it a last straw, call it the straw that broke the camel’s back, call it what you want, but that moment of clarity has arrived. When you get to the point when all you want is total and complete happiness, you are willing to do any and everything to get it, including being selfish! YUP, selfish! It’s all about me, me and me…me.
I’m at the point where I just don’t give a hoot about certain things such as:
-People who walk out of my life
-Judgmental people
-Misplaced blame
-Ungratefulness
-Being taken for granted
-DISrespect
-Immaturity
-Stupidity
I learned a very valuable lesson this past week and that is to not allow myself to be treated anything less than what I am worth, by anyone…family included. If you choose to not support me, that’s fine…different strokes for different folks, but please step aside and let’s do away with the fake smiles. If you can’t be genuinely happy for me, pack your bags, your belongings, your space, your breath and exit the building. Sometimes people put up with more than they should and they keep negativity around and they fight for something that hmmm…wouldn’t fight for them. I’m taking back control of my life, my circle, my bubble! I’m so focused, I can taste the success. I will not allow myself to be derailed. My dreams are being protected!
Thanks for reading luvs!
Where is Christian Grey?!
50 Shades Review
By now, you may have been swallowed up by the ’round-the-world craze known as “Christian Grey!” We’ve never met him, but so many of us women (and maybe men) are fantasizing about him–what he looks like, how hot his body is, him running his fingers through his hair, etc. (all details provided in the books). For those who have no clue who this man is, the sad truth is, neither do WE! This is a fictional character in the world renowned, bestselling trilogy that has taken us by storm. In a series of three books, Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker and Fifty Shades Freed, author E.L. James has invited us to become obsessed with the dark and mysterious Christian Grey–along with his lovely lady, Anastasia Steele.
I would hate to give away any major details, but the truth is…YOU SHOULD HAVE BOUGHT THE BOOKS AND READ THEM BY NOW. This series is filled with “kinky f*ckery” (that’s the term that is used in the book), love, heartbreak, seduction, violence, control…you get the picture. I was COMPLETELY engaged and head over heels with Christian Grey–the sexy, successful millionaire with control problems, secrets and a fetish for dominating his submissive lovers. I read ALL three books in two weeks! We’re talking about reading instead of watching television, reading before bedtime, reading on lunch breaks, reading when I woke up…I was utterly and completely hooked. Christian Grey eased his way into his lover’s life–recent college graduate, Anastasia Steele, who was a virgin and inexperienced in a lot of things (not just sex). From the moment they locked eyes, they found pure electricity flowing through their body and were inseparable. She is introduced to a world that she would never have thought to explore. A world that is dark, invigorating, secret and most of all, NEW! He, of course, comes with much personal baggage from past lovers and child abuse, to the constant need to control every situation…that is until, he met Anastasia! She changed his world and made him think in a new way…in a way that combined his sexual fantasies and control with her traditional innocence. A man incapable of even loving, learned to live and love for the first time.
So many readers had mixed emotions about the content of the book, but the majority of my fellow 50 Shades fans were totally taken over! It was an opportunity to dive into deep fantasy and read about a pure, kinky, passionate, raw love where anything was possible. Each reader can adopt their own perspective on the main objective of the series…that’s the beauty! Some will settle for only the risque parts, where as others (like myself) will allow themselves to be taken on a literary journey where there are no limits. In a nutshell, I was left wanting MORE (wink)!
***
Here is what I picture when I think of what Mr. Grey might look like (based on the details given in the books of course):
1. What were YOU left thinking?
2. Did you fall in love with Christian Grey as I did?
3. Did you love the books or hate the books?
Let me know your thoughts by leaving a comment and let’s get this discussion started!
A Road Less Traveled.
I think we all reach points in our life when there’s a fork in the road. We have the choice to either go left or right, not knowing which direction is the correct one. I’m more of a choose-neither-kind-of-gal and see what happens if I go straight! It’s how I’ve chosen to live my life and whether or not it was ever the best decision for me, it’s gotten me to THIS very point in my life. Do I have regrets? Sure do. Are there things that I would change if I could? Absolutely. However, in the end, all of the choices that I have made for myself, were means to a lesson. So, what sort of things have I learned? I’m blessed even when I don’t get all that I pray for, I love like it’s going out of style, I’m stronger than I give myself credit for, I will forgive someone a million times without them doing the same for me, and most of all, I am able to accept the consequences for my actions even if “in the moment” I don’t want to.
On the other hand, something that I struggle with DEEPLY is accepting the criticism of others. Because my heart is so big and I love so hard, sometimes I feel like I can’t do much to offend those that I love the most, but I now know that this is so far from the truth. I’ve had people teach me some crazy lessons recently and their words have stuck in my head. I’m guilty of holding some to such a high standard that is virtually impossible for them to ever meet. When they fail at living up to my “standards” I am the first one there to make them aware of their mistake. I’m also guilty of being so easily filled with anger when my feelings are hurt and what’s inside of me comes out through my words…words that can be hurtful. I’m also very emotional and with emotions come blurred judgments. And these are just a few.
You may be wondering why I’m disclosing any of this. Well, I believe that it is our (the world’s) responsibility to openly share parts of our journey that could prove to be helpful to others. I want to be the best representation of myself to the world and as I grow, I realize that no matter how many times I fail or I fall down or I take the wrong path at the fork in the road, I still have to live with myself. I still have to look in the mirror and look into the eyes of the person staring back at me. One thing I am sure of is, I am completely grateful for the people that have stuck by my side. I am forever grateful for those that have chosen to make me a better person rather than giving up even when I made it the easy option. It is because of them that I have lifelong friends, strong family ties and the motivation to be a better woman.
With this in mind, I made a list. A list of things that I want to work on within me because whether I choose left, right or straight, the path begins and ends with the person walking it…and I want to be a wise traveler.
1. Cut back on cussing (totally a work in progress, but the change starts now-words are powerful)
2. Listen to others speak, more than I listen to myself speak
3. Start admitting when I am wrong
4. Tell my family/friends “thank you” and “I appreciate you” more than I point the finger
5. The people that walk away…let them!
It’s a small list, but it’s my start. No one is perfect, so I challenge you to make your own and do your best to stick with it!
Teamwork Makes the DREAM work!
Nowadays, it’s a surprise when I decide to do a personal post for my lovely readers, but I think it’s a great time to provide an update on my life! For starters, I’m taking each day as it comes and whether it’s a good or bad experience, I can take lessons from it all. My birthday came and went in a flash and although I didn’t celebrate it as I had originally planned, my family and friends managed to come together and share in my special day. For those that are not aware, I had a VERY traumatic thing happen to me and without focusing on every single, saddening detail I will just say this: A complete stranger found a way to change my outlook on life by physically harming me in a way that I had never experienced. What lessons came of it? I will never underestimate the intentions of others and I will not ASSume that all men know not to hit a woman. Another lesson? That I have some of the BEST friends and family in the world who have been helping me process everything. Constantly checking on me, being a shoulder to cry on and a set of ears to listen. My TEAM is amazing!
Despite this life-changing event, I have managed to still push forward and take small strides in the right direction. It hasn’t been easy, but what about life IS easy? With that said, I reached out to the creator of Shipwrecked on Fabulous Island and wanted to have my pictures taken (she does amazing work, check her out)…WHY? Because I’m building my portfolio for another major move that I am making, but can’t really disclose at the moment! Aside from the process of having my photos done, it was a chance for me to FEEL pretty inside and out. My CONFIDENCE was on point and it was just what I needed (FYI, the remaining photos will be published in a separate post)! As if the past few months haven’t been busy enough, I’m working on my life plan. I’ve written business plans in the past, but never a LIFE plan to map out where I am, where I want to go and where I want to end up. I will keep all of you updated on how that goes!
My goal isn’t to bore you so this is it for now, BUT it is extremely important for me to provide updates on where my journey is taking me…afterall, that is the whole premise of Danithedreamgirl.com! I’m determined to turn my DREAMS into a reality, while helping others along the way. Keeping this motto in mind, I will continue to share stories of strangers and friends alike, in order to inspire and foster a change among our generation! If you want your journey, testimony, or even career highlighted in the Dreamworld, reach out and I’d be more than happy to make it happen! Remember: TEAMWORK MAKES THE DREAM WORK!
***If you are interested in having your very own photo session, please send all inquiries to danithedreamgirl@gmail.com and I will send you my photographer’s contact information. Serious inquiries only!!!***
Is Reality TV Rotting Our Brains?!?!
You might be wondering where my fascination with reality television stems from…then again, maybe you’re not, but I’m going to explain it anyway. It all began with The Real World, making its debut in NYC. I often wondered, “Is this really a show?” People really lived in a house? With seven strangers? To find out what happened when people stopped being polite and started getting real? (FYI ALERT: Tami Roman, from Basketball Wives, got her first break on The Real World ) From there, it crossed over into my collegiate years; I became obsessed with America’s Next Top Model. How could you NOT love seeing “everyday” girls get a chance to become a TOP MODEL? They went from bland to beautiful right in front of me (well, on TV)! With my interest at full-peek, I started to branch out into other shows like Laguna Beach where I could see rich white kids driving around in a Benz to HIGHSCHOOL! From that moment on, the madness crept into my life! The Bad Girls Club, Love and Hip-Hop, Basketball Wives, Real Housewives (all cities), Keeping up with the Kardashians, etc.
It got out of control! With violent shows like, The Bad Girls Club and Basketball 
Wives, I cringe and I feel so uneasy. I really do FEEL the tension through the television! It’s as if I support violence and bullying by watching another female on TV get jumped, slapped in the face, talked down to, called “bitch”, and most importantly being told that they aren’t “black enough”. I couldn’t decide if it was all reality shows that made me feel this way or a select few, so I did a mini experiment to help clarify (internally) what was going on with me. The first thing I did was cut back on reality TV and the second thing was to ask some family, friends, Facebook and Twitter what they thought. I mean afterall, I couldn’t be the only person feeling this way right? Check out what others had to say:
Amaris’ Feedback:
What is the first thing you think of when you see two grown women fighting on national television?
First and foremost, TV is entertainment and the degree to which we engulf in these reality shows is merely our need to be amused…I think it is humorous and entertaining. That is something that I probably shouldn’t admit to, but the reality is this: the women on these shows are adults. They are aware that their actions and words will be displayed for the world to see and judge. They are conscious of entertainment and what it is to “stay” on a show and even possibly (if they are wild and crazy enough) get their own tv shows. That, along with money and attention, are their goals… I have respect for women with greater goals. Acting is an art, being a drama queen is not… So…as long as there are women out there willing to embarrass themselves and show their face in any light for that check…I guess there are women like me who will watch….and be amused.
Larry’s Feedback:
(1) As a man, what’s the main reason why you don’t indulge in such guilty pleasures? (2) What do you think of females that fight, especially on TV for the world to see?
1. Reality gives people a false sense of reality. Nothing protrayed on any reality TV show is the reality of the normal everyday person. False looks, false relationships, and other negative aspects of life are all that are protrayed on these trashy shows and it honestly is the downfall of positive productive thought. You cannot input such mindless garbage into your mind and not believe that it in some way does not effect your everyday thinking about life, love, or anything else for that matter.
2. Fighting, whether its for tv or not for anyone, is just not ok. Barring some sort of life threating experience to yourself or family; there is nothing anyone should be able to say to you that should make you use physical force to retailiate. Critical thinking is what separates us from animals and its only those who are mentally weak who find the need to physically attack another person. Everyone has had their weak moments where we have all slipped and got into a physical altercation, but as an adult no person should ever have the verbal capacity to make you come to blows because once you have thrown a punch you have already been mentally defeated and already have lost.
Sheena’s Feeback:
As a young professional and the head of a non-profit geared towards at-risk female teens, how do you think images on reality TV shape the minds of our young women and what damage do you think is being done (if any)?
I believe the images being portrayed on certain reality TV shows give young women a false sense of reality. The young women my organization works with are at a very impressionable age and unfortunately a lot of them have not made a clear distinction between their reality and reality TV…Which leads me to believe that in the wrong hands what’s portrayed on TV could be very detrimental to young women in our community…it’s not necessarily about what you watch, but about knowing the difference from someone else’s life versus your own. Putting emphasis on conflict resolution methods that teach young women how to handle the situations they see on TV, in their own lives. While being cognizant of the fact that every action has a reaction, so we clearly think through the decisions we make. Thus becoming accountable for the choices we decide to make as individuals. Essentially, just because you’ve seen it on TV doesn’t make it right.
Tabby’s Feedback:
How do you think reality television is hindering AND/OR helping our youth?
It always amazes me how quickly society forms an opinion of an ENTIRE group – race, age, genre or, in this case, television show…TV shows on Animal Planet, The History Channel, The Food Network, HGTV and many others are, in MY opinion, Reality TV…Unfortunately, however, once MTV served up an appetizer of “real” lies, deceit, sex and violence known as ‘The Real World,’ America’s appetite for drama and thirst for more grew beyond control…In the talk show age, for every Oprah there was a Jerry, for every Donohue there was a Maury The language, violence, sex and drama have a numbing effect that redefines what is the norm for our youth. As a teen, if we’re friends, the Kardashians have taught me the b-word is a pet name for my loved ones… Jersey Shore taught me that sex is no longer a sacred act reserved for someone I love but the new after-party activity with people whose name I can’t even remember… RHONJ taught me that if I don’t like you, it’s ok to run your name through the mud to whoever will listen… *Insert super star searching for love* taught me that moving in with someone I barely know will not only help me figure out whether he/she is “the one” but defined “the one” as whoever had the tiniest clothes and showed potential to give it up quicker than others…As a mother with a 5 year old daughter, this trash is NEVER on my child’s “TV dinner” menu because I believe there’s a maturity level required and I’m far too busy focusing on her learning tools…Bottomline: it’s up to the parents (not the television) to raise their child.
I posed the question on my Facebook and Twitter pages, “Do you think reality TV rots our brains?” and here are some of the responses I got back:
Yes, but it doesn’t mean im going to stop watching. Those real housewives crack me up haha ~Sapna
Not only does it rot brains, but it becomes the guideline for some peoples’ lives, they try to act, and look just like these reality stars ~Delonte
If someone has a brain they never watch reality shows. ~Charlie aka Dad
Yes I do…everyone wants fame because it’s so accessible,people should always strive for talent not fame.Be talented & fame will come! ~Lead Singer of The Electric Barbarellas
So, after hearing what others had to say, I’ve concluded that I’m not the only one who thinks about the damages that reality shows do to the brain, but I was also able to understand that uneasy feeling inside of me. I agree that not all shows are bad! I can see singers chasing their dreams on American Idol or chefs showing off their skills on Top Chef. I don’t have to watch bullies and violence and quite frankly I don’t think I should. What we put into our mind eventually comes out in our thoughts, words and actions! It’s safe to say that I am much more aware of the negative effects the “bad apples” can have on not only me, but society as well.
As you depart from the Dreamworld, check out what Shaunie, executive producer of Basketball Wives had to say regarding bullying on her show:
Dysfunctional Friends…Here’s What I Think About It!
I’m going to attempt to share my thoughts about the film, Dysfunctional Friends, without giving away every detail (for those that haven’t seen it). For those that did see it, I’m sure you can share in my sentiment of it being a good film. Starting with the opening act, my attention was solely on the screen watching Persia White, who I think is a phenomenal and underrated actress in the industry (formerly on the hit show Girlfriends), involved in some girl on girl action. The initial plot build-up was great! Of course, everyone knows by now that the premise of the story involves a friend who suddenly dies from a freak accident and leaves his estate to his close circle of friends. However, in order for them to cash in, they need to last a week together and work out whatever issues they have and get reacquainted. This is an amazing storyline, being as though it relates to so many friendships nowadays where life gets in the way, people grow apart and before you know it, years have gone by!
One of the biggest perks of the film is seeing actors/actresses who are super talented, yet haven’t been on the big screen in a while, i.e. Wesley Jonathan, Reagan Gomez-Preston, Persia White, Tatyana Ali. Another added bonus is that even though there’s a heaviness of the initial plot (death), there is comedy throughout to provide a healthy balance. What you will find is that each character is probably a representation of someone that you call a friend or whom you know in real life and because of this, there’s nothing phony or “Hollywood” about the film; it’s actually a very accurate depiction of the real world.
One thing that some may find is that the pace of the movie is steady and almost teetering on slow, BUT for someone like me who appreciates character and plot depth it matches perfectly with the story. For example, there are close to 10 main characters and the basis of the scenario requires them all to remain in the same house for the majority of the film. So all of the craziness that ensues forces each character to develop in front of one another, which allows the viewer to truly understand each role and get familiar with who is who and what there purpose is. How many times do we see a film and there is so much going on that we sometimes forget the name or what happened in the beginning of the movie with them? Not in this case! Corey Grant does an awesome job with the script and the direction.
The ultimate kudos is for the film NOT BEING PREDICTABLE. There were plot twists, moments of who’s sleeping with who, what secrets are they hiding, who ends up with who in the end…there is so much that will allow you to really appreciate this independent production. There were some really awesome breakthrough roles, fresh faces (Vanessa Simmons) and finally great representations of black actors! I give it two thumbs up and strongly recommend purchasing the DVD! Showing support for independent films is key!
Visit www.amazon.com to make your quick purchase!
Here’s the movie trailer:
Can You Call it Support When it’s Done from the Shadows?
It’s been such an exciting time in my life, getting the chance to take a sneak peak into the lives of others, some complete strangers. However, it seems fitting to take a step back and say “hello” to my readers and share a story. In anyone’s life, there are highs and there are not-so-highs (better than saying lows), but there are lessons in everything that we go through. I’ve decided to share one of the lessons that I came away with, with all of you…maybe you can let me know your take on it. Before I begin, my question to you is: What’s your idea of showing support?
When you put your thoughts, your craft, your goal(s) on display for the world to see (and critique) that can be scary, as 
I’ve mentioned in previous posts. One thing that can help someone work through the anxiety and pressure is the support of others (friends, family, significant other, etc.). There is NOTHING that can replace a “good job” or “great post” or “wow! your site is so cool” or “amazing interview”…you get the point! You want to know that the people you hold close are out there taking time to “support” you in your endeavor. How would you feel if, someone that you were really close to, supported from the “shadows” in a place where you couldn’t see or recognize it? Would that support still count? Would you still call it “support” if you didn’t know that they were even giving it to you? That’s exactly what happened to me. I won’t use any names, we’ll call them Dasher, but the person reading this from the shadows, will know that this is about them (keep in mind, I can’t tell who is reading my blog, unless they tell me directly or they leave a comment). Dasher expressed that leaving a comment on my blog is my way of wanting “their presence to be known to everybody” when I already know they are the “type of person who lives in the shadows.” So, basically it’s wrong for me to expect them to do such a thing when I already know it’s not in their nature.
Here’s my take on it. What the f**k does that mean? I secretly laughed out loud in shock. Something about that is just plain old conceited. To think, they believe the only reason I want them to leave a comment or show me they are there, is because I want THEIR presence to be known. HA! As if! This is really what it’s about…read and pay attention! When I care about someone enough to spend time with them, share moments, or even talk to them, or call them my friend, that automatically makes them somewhat special to me because I don’t do that, with or for, just anyone. As I draw closer to them and build trust, there’s no hiding that they are special…my light naturally shines through. When you have that inner light shining, there’s no such thing as living in the shadows. Therefore, whatever they are working on or pursuing, I naturally want to let them know, “I support you!” It may not be every day, but at some point I will show my support OUTWARDLY and not because I want the world (a.k.a. “everybody”, as Dasher said) to see, but because I would be so proud.
The Lesson I Learned: Not everyone shows support in the same way, that’s fine. However, it’s crucial to let those you love and care about, know that you recognize their efforts and success.
Danithedreamgirl 