I think we all reach points in our life when there’s a fork in the road. We have the choice to either go left or right, not knowing which direction is the correct one. I’m more of a choose-neither-kind-of-gal and see what happens if I go straight! It’s how I’ve chosen to live my life and whether or not it was ever the best decision for me, it’s gotten me to THIS very point in my life. Do I have regrets? Sure do. Are there things that I would change if I could? Absolutely. However, in the end, all of the choices that I have made for myself, were means to a lesson. So, what sort of things have I learned? I’m blessed even when I don’t get all that I pray for, I love like it’s going out of style, I’m stronger than I give myself credit for, I will forgive someone a million times without them doing the same for me, and most of all, I am able to accept the consequences for my actions even if “in the moment” I don’t want to.
On the other hand, something that I struggle with DEEPLY is accepting the criticism of others. Because my heart is so big and I love so hard, sometimes I feel like I can’t do much to offend those that I love the most, but I now know that this is so far from the truth. I’ve had people teach me some crazy lessons recently and their words have stuck in my head. I’m guilty of holding some to such a high standard that is virtually impossible for them to ever meet. When they fail at living up to my “standards” I am the first one there to make them aware of their mistake. I’m also guilty of being so easily filled with anger when my feelings are hurt and what’s inside of me comes out through my words…words that can be hurtful. I’m also very emotional and with emotions come blurred judgments. And these are just a few.
You may be wondering why I’m disclosing any of this. Well, I believe that it is our (the world’s) responsibility to openly share parts of our journey that could prove to be helpful to others. I want to be the best representation of myself to the world and as I grow, I realize that no matter how many times I fail or I fall down or I take the wrong path at the fork in the road, I still have to live with myself. I still have to look in the mirror and look into the eyes of the person staring back at me. One thing I am sure of is, I am completely grateful for the people that have stuck by my side. I am forever grateful for those that have chosen to make me a better person rather than giving up even when I made it the easy option. It is because of them that I have lifelong friends, strong family ties and the motivation to be a better woman.
With this in mind, I made a list. A list of things that I want to work on within me because whether I choose left, right or straight, the path begins and ends with the person walking it…and I want to be a wise traveler.
1. Cut back on cussing (totally a work in progress, but the change starts now-words are powerful)
2. Listen to others speak, more than I listen to myself speak
3. Start admitting when I am wrong
4. Tell my family/friends “thank you” and “I appreciate you” more than I point the finger
5. The people that walk away…let them!
It’s a small list, but it’s my start. No one is perfect, so I challenge you to make your own and do your best to stick with it!