What Will Your Weekend Bring?!

I have the luxury of being able to visit family this weekend (yay!)…that means seeing my parents, my cousins, my aunts and uncles and my best friends! To add a splash of fun in there, I’m going to see Sean Paul perform live for the first time ever! I’ll be hitting the road and driving up north in a short while and I cannot wait. What will your weekend bring you? Any big plans? Either way, have fun and enjoy your time (near or far)! In the hustle and bustle of life it’s easy to let time slip away, but make this weekend different. Go out with friends, spend time with mom or dad…whatever it is, ENJOY and be PRESENT!

A Road Less Traveled.

I think we all reach points in our life when there’s a fork in the road. We have the choice to either go left or right, not knowing which direction is the correct one. I’m more of a choose-neither-kind-of-gal and see what happens if I go straight! It’s how I’ve chosen to live my life and whether or not it was ever the best decision for me, it’s gotten me to THIS very point in my life. Do I have regrets? Sure do. Are there things that I would change if I could? Absolutely. However, in the end, all of the choices that I have made for myself, were means to a lesson. So, what sort of things have I learned? I’m blessed even when I don’t get all that I pray for, I love like it’s going out of style, I’m stronger than I give myself credit for, I will forgive someone a million times without them doing the same for me, and most of all, I am able to accept the consequences for my actions even if “in the moment” I don’t want to.

On the other hand, something that I struggle with DEEPLY is accepting the criticism of others. Because my heart is so big and I love so hard, sometimes I feel like I can’t do much to offend those that I love the most, but I now know that this is so far from the truth. I’ve had people teach me some crazy lessons recently and their words have stuck in my head. I’m guilty of holding some to such a high standard that is virtually impossible for them to ever meet. When they fail at living up to my “standards” I am the first one there to make them aware of their mistake. I’m also guilty of being so easily filled with anger when my feelings are hurt and what’s inside of me comes out through my words…words that can be hurtful. I’m also very emotional and with emotions come blurred judgments. And these are just a few.

You may be wondering why I’m disclosing any of this. Well, I believe that it is our (the world’s) responsibility to openly share parts of our journey that could prove to be helpful to others. I want to be the best representation of myself to the world and as I grow, I realize that no matter how many times I fail or I fall down or I take the wrong path at the fork in the road, I still have to live with myself. I still have to look in the mirror and look into the eyes of the person staring back at me. One thing I am sure of is, I am completely grateful for the people that have stuck by my side. I am forever grateful for those that have chosen to make me a better person rather than giving up even when I made it the easy option. It is because of them that I have lifelong friends, strong family ties and the motivation to be a better woman.

With this in mind, I made a list. A list of things that I want to work on within me because whether I choose left, right or straight, the path begins and ends with the person walking it…and I want to be a wise traveler.

1. Cut back on cussing (totally a work in progress, but the change starts now-words are powerful)

2. Listen to others speak, more than I listen to myself speak

3. Start admitting when I am wrong

4. Tell my family/friends “thank you” and “I appreciate you” more than I point the finger

5. The people that walk away…let them!

It’s a small list, but it’s my start. No one is perfect, so I challenge you to make your own and do your best to stick with it!

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Teamwork Makes the DREAM work!

Nowadays, it’s a surprise when I decide to do a personal post for my lovely readers, but I think it’s a great time to provide an update on my life! For starters, I’m taking each day as it comes and whether it’s a good or bad experience, I can take lessons from it all. My birthday came and went in a flash and although I didn’t celebrate it as I had originally planned, my family and friends managed to come together and share in my special day. For those that are not aware, I had a VERY traumatic thing happen to me and without focusing on every single, saddening detail I will just say this: A complete stranger found a way to change my outlook on life by physically harming me in a way that I had never experienced. What lessons came of it? I will never underestimate the intentions of others and I will not ASSume that all men know not to hit a woman. Another lesson? That I have some of the BEST friends and family in the world who have been helping me process everything. Constantly checking on me, being a shoulder to cry on and a set of ears to listen. My TEAM is amazing!

Despite this life-changing event, I have managed to still push forward and take small strides in the right direction. It hasn’t been easy, but what about life IS easy? With that said, I reached out to the creator of Shipwrecked on Fabulous Island and wanted to have my pictures taken (she does amazing work, check her out)…WHY? Because I’m building my portfolio for another major move that I am making, but can’t really disclose at the moment! Aside from the process of having my photos done, it was a chance for me to FEEL pretty inside and out. My CONFIDENCE was on point and it was just what I needed (FYI, the remaining photos will be published in a separate post)! As if the past few months haven’t been busy enough, I’m working on my life plan. I’ve written business plans in the past, but never a LIFE plan to map out where I am, where I want to go and where I want to end up. I will keep all of you updated on how that goes!

My goal isn’t to bore you so this is it for now, BUT it is extremely important for me to provide updates on where my journey is taking me…afterall, that is the whole premise of Danithedreamgirl.com! I’m determined to turn my DREAMS into a reality, while helping others along the way. Keeping this motto in mind, I will continue to share stories of strangers and friends alike, in order to inspire and foster a change among our generation! If you want your journey, testimony, or even career highlighted in the Dreamworld, reach out and I’d be more than happy to make it happen! Remember: TEAMWORK MAKES THE DREAM WORK!

***If you are interested in having your very own photo session, please send all inquiries to danithedreamgirl@gmail.com and I will send you my photographer’s contact information. Serious inquiries only!!!***

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Dysfunctional Friends…Here’s What I Think About It!

I’m going to attempt to share my thoughts about the film, Dysfunctional Friends, without giving away every detail (for those that haven’t seen it). For those that did see it, I’m sure you can share in my sentiment of it being a good film. Starting with the opening act, my attention was solely on the screen watching Persia White, who I think is a phenomenal and underrated actress in the industry (formerly on the hit show Girlfriends), involved in some girl on girl action. The initial plot build-up was great! Of course, everyone knows by now that the premise of the story involves a friend who suddenly dies from a freak accident and leaves his estate to his close circle of friends. However, in order for them to cash in, they need to last a week together and work out whatever issues they have and get reacquainted. This is an amazing storyline, being as though it relates to so many friendships nowadays where life gets in the way, people grow apart and before you know it, years have gone by!

One of the biggest perks of the film is seeing actors/actresses who are super talented, yet haven’t been on the big screen in a while, i.e. Wesley Jonathan, Reagan Gomez-Preston, Persia White, Tatyana Ali. Another added bonus is that even though there’s a heaviness of the initial plot (death), there is comedy throughout to provide a healthy balance. What you will find is that each character is probably a representation of someone that you call a friend or whom you know in real life and because of this, there’s nothing phony or “Hollywood” about the film; it’s actually a very accurate depiction of the real world.

One thing that some may find is that the pace of the movie is steady and almost teetering on slow, BUT for someone like me who appreciates character and plot depth it matches perfectly with the story. For example, there are close to 10 main characters and the basis of the scenario requires them all to remain in the same house for the majority of the film. So all of the craziness that ensues forces each character to develop in front of one another, which allows the viewer to truly understand each role and get familiar with who is who and what there purpose is. How many times do we see a film and there is so much going on that we sometimes forget the name or what happened in the beginning of the movie with them? Not in this case! Corey Grant does an awesome job with the script and the direction.

The ultimate kudos is for the film NOT BEING PREDICTABLE. There were plot twists, moments of who’s sleeping with who, what secrets are they hiding, who ends up with who in the end…there is so much that will allow you to really appreciate this independent production. There were some really awesome breakthrough roles, fresh faces (Vanessa Simmons) and finally great representations of black actors! I give it two thumbs up and strongly recommend purchasing the DVD! Showing support for independent films is key!

Visit www.amazon.com to make your quick purchase!

Here’s the movie trailer:

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Can You Call it Support When it’s Done from the Shadows?

It’s been such an exciting time in my life, getting the chance to take a sneak peak into the lives of others, some complete strangers. However, it seems fitting to take a step back and say “hello” to my readers and share a story. In anyone’s life, there are highs and there are not-so-highs (better than saying lows), but there are lessons in everything that we go through. I’ve decided to share one of the lessons that I came away with, with all of you…maybe you can let me know your take on it. Before I begin, my question to you is: What’s your idea of showing support?

When you put your thoughts, your craft, your goal(s) on display for the world to see (and critique) that can be scary, as I’ve mentioned in previous posts. One thing that can help someone work through the anxiety and pressure is the support of others (friends, family, significant other, etc.). There is NOTHING that can replace a “good job” or “great post” or “wow! your site is so cool” or “amazing interview”…you get the point! You want to know that the people you hold close are out there taking time to “support” you in your endeavor. How would you feel if, someone that you were really close to, supported from the “shadows” in a place where you couldn’t see or recognize it? Would that support still count? Would you still call it “support” if you didn’t know that they were even giving it to you? That’s exactly what happened to me. I won’t use any names, we’ll call them Dasher, but the person reading this from the shadows, will know that this is about them (keep in mind, I can’t tell who is reading my blog, unless they tell me directly or they leave a comment). Dasher expressed that leaving a comment on my blog is my way of wanting “their presence to be known to everybody” when I already know they are the “type of person who lives in the shadows.” So, basically it’s wrong for me to expect them to do such a thing when I already know it’s not in their nature.

Here’s my take on it. What the f**k does that mean? I secretly laughed out loud in shock. Something about that is just plain old conceited. To think, they believe the only reason I want them to leave a comment or show me they are there, is because I want THEIR presence to be known. HA! As if! This is really what it’s about…read and pay attention! When I care about someone enough to spend time with them, share moments, or even talk to them, or call them my friend, that automatically makes them somewhat special to me because I don’t do that, with or for, just anyone. As I draw closer to them and build trust, there’s no hiding that they are special…my light naturally shines through. When you have that inner light shining, there’s no such thing as living in the shadows. Therefore, whatever they are working on or pursuing, I naturally want to let them know, “I support you!” It may not be every day, but at some point I will show my support OUTWARDLY and not because I want the world (a.k.a. “everybody”, as Dasher said) to see, but because I would be so proud.

The Lesson I Learned: Not everyone shows support in the same way, that’s fine. However, it’s crucial to let those you love and care about, know that you recognize their efforts and success.

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Some Will Stay Forever, but NOT Everyone Made it to 2012 with Me!

To my followers, I say “THANK YOU” for supporting me and taking the time to read such great stories of inspiration! I’ve gotten many emails and comments from those that were truly helped and inspired after reading about some amazing people and their journeys through life. I have some additional interviews that I will be disclosing within the next month or so; stay tuned!

With that said, I think it’s a good idea to clear the air and make a personal statement with this being a new year and all. I’ve welcomed 2012 with open arms; 2011 was filled with so many events, ups and downs, trials, epiphanies, changes, etc. It was a busy year, to say the least. However, in all the lessons that I took away from the past year, there are two that shine through (not all friendships last forever and family means everything) and I’m sure others will be able to relate. I took time to slim down my circle of friends, evaluated who I’ve been letting into my life and it was certainly time for a change. Although, I’m a FIRM believer that everyone comes into your life for a reason, it is also true that not everyone is meant to stay. It wasn’t all DEEP though; I took some much-needed time to be with the people who mean the most and I did things that made ME happy like, take a trip to Miami for my brother’s birthday…

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Went to see Jay and Kanye’s Watch the Throne Tour…

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Went to L.A. for the first time…

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I had some amazing experiences, but of course as luck would have it, it wasn’t all fun and games for me. Friendships were tested! Some of my friendships ended, some of them started, but the ones that stand out the most are those that just disappeared. I had a “friend” get engaged and will be married soon; I guess that invitation got lost in the mail (FYI, never drop your girls for any man…that’s Rule #1)! After 11 years of friendship, she broke the mighty, mighty Rule #1. I had another “friend” become so selfish and unappreciative of my time and truly thought that the world revolved around her drinking schedule…that relationship is no longer an issue for me. Both situations were with two different people, but had the same outcome and I have no issues with either one being gone. Of course time and attention were invested and sacrifices were made on both ends, but when the expiration date approaches I don’t fight it. I don’t look back and I certainly don’t lose sleep over fixing something that will forever be broken. Sorry folks, no pics of the two ladies referenced above…I’m not that cold-hearted.

The moral of my story is, no matter how positive you may try to be in life, no matter how inspired you are by someone’s success, or how you try to maintain mind control, nothing will prepare any of us for the unexpected things that happen in life. One of the unexpected things that life may bring is having to say “good-bye” to those that you thought had your best interest at heart. I’d rather deal with the pain of turning away, than suffer a lifetime of toxic relationships…that will certainly end up killing me in the long run. Instead, I chose to rid my life of the bad and celebrate the good! I brought in the new year with a bang, with friends and friends of friends!

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Living life the happy way is the first step to moving in the right direction! The Dreamgirl can’t dream if she surrounds herself with nightmares! Keep on dreaming!

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