soul searching

My Writer’s Block Formed The “No Bullsh!t Zone”

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Please don’t take my distance from the the cyber world as a sign of neglect for my blog site.  But, you know when you walk into your house or apartment and it just doesn’t feel like home? Like it’s missing something?  Maybe you have to go to Ikea and grab the perfect couch or the perfect coffee table.  Maybe you need to put up some family pictures or pieces of art.  Whatever IT is that’s missing, you may feel something in the pit of your stomach that reveals itself and doesn’t go away until you’ve found the missing puzzle piece.

 

Well, that’s kind of what I feel like right now.  I love blogging and have developed a safe haven where I can freely express myself, on my own terms.  However, lately I’ve felt like something has been missing from my “home” and it has kept me from actually writing a blog post for almost a month.  I’ve gone weeks without putting my thoughts on screen and it’s all because I don’t want to write bullshit.

 

So much has been happening around the world.  We have a fraternity that was caught on tape, singing about hanging niggers from a tree.  President Obama made history by celebrating the 50th anniversary of the march in Selma.  Stars are coming “out” on the The Ellen DeGeneres Show.  Black actors and actresses are finally getting leading roles on prime-time television.  Some big things are happening and I still don’t have anything to write about.  Why? Because the rest of the world is writing about the same damn thing.  I love talking about pop culture and to tell you the truth, it brings in many readers.  But, I want something much greater than the next Necolebitchie.com.  I want to really make a difference.  I want to become the best writer that I can be and not for all of you, but for me.

 

I’m in the midst of a season of change and I’m embracing it.  I have shared all of my ups and downs, my epiphanies, my ideas, my everything on Danithedreamgirl.com and I will continue to do so.  No matter what comes of my site, just know that I don’t want to just feed all of YOU the same old crap that you see on every other blog site.  I want my ish to mean something.  Ahhhhh, now that I’ve gotten all of that off of my chest, I can breathe again.

 

 

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Life’s Intermission…

It’s been some weeks, but I’m still here.  I pray everyone had an amazing holiday and is starting off 2015 in good spirits.  I took the last few weeks to just be still.  I wanted to enjoy my family and friends.  

2014 was unforgiving in many ways, but so many blessings surfaced in the last couple of months.  I needed to reset and regroup and that meant disconnecting myself for some time. 

At some point, we all need to get back to the basics and realign our thoughts, goals and game plan.  A part of my journey and process has been to get back to the Lord.  It may not be everyone’s cup of tea,  but getting closer to perfection and good ideals, morals, lifestyle,  etc. is where my focus has been.

May 2015 be our year for greatness.   Let’s get out there and make things happen.  Oh, and I’m back so get ready for what’s coming on Danithedreamgirl.com. 

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Are You Giving Too Much To The World?

Hello, Dreamers!

Every once in a while,  I like to step away from the mainstream BS and get grounded.  I will preface this post by saying,  I don’t go to church every Sunday like I used to, so the spiritual simulation that I receive is something I have to really work for and desire enough to seek.  With that said,  I really spend a lot of my off days thinking,  meditating, being by myself,  writing, etc.

A thought came to me recently and I began wondering,  why do I lend the world so much of myself?  Think about it.  You want to remain valuable at work so you do the best you can and put in extra hours,  pick up other people’s slack,  go above and beyond.  You want to get in shape so you watch what you eat, go grocery shopping,  diet. You want your partner to be happy so you take them on a date,  buy them something nice,  talk about things,  cook a romantic dinner, sacrifice.   Whatever it is that you do, think about all of the energy that you put out on a daily basis… what’s left for just you?  How are you happy as an individual?

When a relationship or job suddenly ends,  what’s the first thing that you think?  All of the sacrifices I made,  the time,  the work… wasted. Sure, there are lessons,  but the feeling of disappointment is prominent.  I’m learning that if we (the people in this world) begin to take more time for ourselves,  if we keep a little something within,  if we don’t give everything to the world,  we can avoid that feeling. 

Personally, in giving so much, I tend to lose myself and I know some of you can relate.  I often remind myself that it’s OK to not let everyone in,  to not divulge my life,  to not always be the one to sacrifice,  to keep a little something just for me.  Learning this balance has been a constant battle,  but I will get there. 

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Can People F*ck Up Your Journey?

First things first,  yes, I cussed in my title…it’s ok.  Now,  I’ve been going back and forth about this topic for a while,  but mostly through random thoughts in my head.

So many of us are on a profound journey that we want the world to take notice of,  but have you ever thought about the world not wanting what’s best for you?

I mean,  let’s be real,  do you honestly believe that all of your friends are happy for you?  I’ll be the one to burst your bubble; they aren’t!  That’s because not everyone is your friend.  Not everyone is in a healthy place where they can be happy for others.  That place can be a breeding ground for envy and jealousy, so we all have to be careful.  We can also have individuals around us that just aren’t good people.  They only care about their journey and their life; in other words,  selfish.

People can genuinely f*ck up your journey!  Friends,  coworkers,  exes, boyfriends,  girlfriends,  family… all opportunities to derail your path.  One bit of advice I can offer,  from experience of course,  when people walk out of your life,  allow them.  You don’t need them.  If you give life to any negativity,  you’ve opened the door to unnecessary drama and distractions.

Here’s what YOU can do in the midst of dealing with others… continue to love,  shine light,  stay focused.  The universe will work everything else out,  trust me.

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How I’m Making it Through My Storm…

If I sat down and wrote a story about my life over the past few years, you’d wonder how I’m still pushing through each day.  I surprise myself.  I never knew how much strength I had until my closest friends abandoned me, until every door closed in my face,  until I had no choice but to get up each day and try again.  We all go through our own struggles; we face our own storms.   When you are left with nothing in life but your health,  a clean slate and family,  you’ll learn just why God created you the way He did.

All of my experiences in life have prepared me for this very moment.   All of my mistakes have uncovered my strong desire to do better.  All of the untrue people I surrounded myself with helped me to appreciate the loyal ones. 

I’m constantly discovering a new part of me that I didn’t even think existed.  When I look back on MY life thus far, I’m confident that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be and I won’t allow tough times or bad experiences to defeat me.   All of life’s happenings push me to set new goals,  take risks and to not settle.

I’m getting through my storm because I’m realizing that it’s not a storm… it’s a transformation.

You may not control all the events that happen to you,  but you can decide not to be reduced by them.   ~Maya Angelou

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Would You Be Willing to Give Up Everything for Personal Happiness?

We all must walk our own path in life.  No one person in this world can live our life for us.  That means that we all possess an immense amount of power, starting at birth.  However, most don’t even know the tools that they are equipped with to help them on their journey through existence.  Think about even the most basic of tools such as tear ducts.  Who knew that we would have a tiny hole on our bottom lids to release fluids?  When we are upset, hurt, happy, etc. we can release those emotions through tears.  Imagine if you had to keep those emotions inside; how weird or traumatized would our bodies feel?  Let’s take it a step further.  What about our limbs?  We have limbs to help us run, walk, jump, crawl, roll, dive, swim, hike, flip, etc.  In danger, we can move fast.  In competition, we can excel. We are able to work, play and survive.  Humans have intricate organs to keep them alive and healthy and are given the most important muscle of all; a brain.  This isn’t an anatomy class; this is understanding that we have everything we need, to make decisions for ourselves and to work for the things we want in life.  So, why are people stuck in their unhappiness when they can essentially create any situation that they want to be in?

We are attached to personal things and create a false sense of value for ourselves that eventually clouds our judgement.  We work crazy jobs with long hours and unhealthy environments, just to be able to pay bills.  Daily routines are established that produce robots out of people who are meant to be extraordinary.  So, I ask the question again…would you be willing to give up everything for personal happiness?  All of the things and people that you are personally attached to, could you let them go?  Could you jump out in the world with only your God-given tools and make something of yourself?  Instead of working to pay bills, could you work to travel and enjoy life?  True happiness isn’t being able to afford the best things, it’s being able to feel fulfilled without.

I’ve heard this preached to me many times, I’ve read books to explain this concept, I’ve tried to adopt the principles of such a lifestyle.  However, I just never allowed myself to fully live in the premise because I was too attached to what I thought was happiness.  It wasn’t until I lost the “things” that I was attached to, that I began to think in a different way.  All of the attachments I had used to make me feel safe and protected.  I was able to pay rent and bills, I had friends whom I became dependent upon too much, I was comfortable.  My world was shaken when I lost my comfortable job of four years.  I had no clue which way was up and I was devastated.  But, then I realized…it was a sign.  I would have never left my job.  I was good at it, it paid my bills and I had my routine down.  Now, I realize that I was just going through each day with no sense of living in the “now”.  Days, months and even years had passed and I didn’t have much personal happiness to show for all of the time invested.

Fast forward to present day.  I’m in a basic job where I serve.  How much money I make is dependent upon the level of effort that I want to put in.  I don’t work everyday, I pretty much make my own schedule.  I don’t have an apartment anymore that I have to pay an extreme amount of money for.  I have a very tight circle of friends whom I just appreciate for being in my life.  I don’t have it all, but for the first time EVER, I feel so free.  I can pick up and move where I want to, I can take as much time off of work that I want, to just travel and explore, I’m not tied down to material things.  I have so many moments that I didn’t have before.  I don’t just feel happy; I AM happy.  Can you say the same?

“We don’t grow out of comfortable situations…we really start to grow when it’s uncomfortable for us.” ~A Friend

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Why Are You Even Here?

We all want to be successful.  To some, that means earning money, having nice things to show for their hard work, flashing labels and expensive jewelry.  To others, it means something a bit more priceless…they want the feeling of being fulfilled.  My quest isn’t just about having a successful site or doing celebrity interviews or bringing you new music.  It’s really about inspiring others to live out their life’s purpose.  It’s a waste of life if you aren’t actively trying to find what you were put on this earth for.  I always had this weird thought that if I ever found what I was meant to be on earth for, God would take me back with Him (i.e. I would die lol!).  So, I never rushed the process on trying to figure it out because I wanted to live longer (weird, right?).  Then, like a ton of bricks, it hit me!  There is a REASON why I am here and it’s my job to live each day like it’s my last.

The last couple of months have been filled with a lot of death of young people.  The majority of those that passed were friends of friends or a friend’s family member, but I still took a lesson out of it all.  I don’t think that people just die out of nowhere.  I believe that their death is supposed to be a lesson and it’s a lesson that I think people, far too often, miss.  Life is short.  When I’m long gone, I want to have left a mark so that everyone that I came in contact with has some sort of memory.  That pushes me to be a better person.  Everyday I am thinking about how I can become a better person, a better friend, a better daughter, a better sister.  Everyday, I tell people how I feel.  Whether it’s a moment of brutal honesty or a moment of laughter…it’s genuine.

The moral of the story is…I’m no longer afraid to find my purpose in life because I think a part of my purpose is to be better.  To be the change that I want to see in the world around me…and that kind of mark will last a lifetime!

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Monday Confessions…

Normally Monday is blocked out for showing others how to become a blogger, but instead, I am going to do something that some bloggers stray away from…making it personal.  The past month has been craaaaazy!  I’ve seen death, I’ve seen sadness, I’ve seen friendships change, I’ve seen betrayal, I’ve seen families being torn apart, I’ve seen struggle, I’ve seen pain.  There were small sprinkles of fun and laughter, but mostly just a whirlwind of THINGS!  Some of them were my things and some were not my things.  A part of my journey to fulfilling my life’s purpose isn’t just filled with fun and exciting blog posts; there are major lessons and tests that I experience along the way.  When I put everything together, it becomes the sum of a greater whole…each piece of the puzzle playing its own role.  I firmly believe that everything that occurs in this lifetime is a lesson to be learned.  Regardless of the trials that I go through, one consistent lesson that I always come away with is that life is so darn precious.  It is so important to recognize/right your wrongs, to appreciate your blessings and to forgive others even when they don’t forgive you.  I’m not afraid of people seeing my bad days because I am who I am.  I’m in constant growth and change and perfection has never been claimed.  I have done plenty of things that I am not proud of, but one thing is for sure…I can always humble myself enough to recognize/right my wrongs, appreciate my blessings and to ALWAYS forgive (even myself).  Maybe this will be just another post that you read today, but I’m hoping that it will help someone along their journey and to be a reminder that you may be in the midst of your storm, but there will always be sunny days again.

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