My Writer’s Block Formed The “No Bullsh!t Zone”

Please don’t take my distance from the the cyber world as a sign of neglect for my blog site. But, you know when you walk into your house or apartment and it just doesn’t feel like home? Like it’s missing something? Maybe you have to go to Ikea and grab the perfect couch or the perfect coffee table. Maybe you need to put up some family pictures or pieces of art. Whatever IT is that’s missing, you may feel something in the pit of your stomach that reveals itself and doesn’t go away until you’ve found the missing puzzle piece.

Well, that’s kind of what I feel like right now. I love blogging and have developed a safe haven where I can freely express myself, on my own terms. However, lately I’ve felt like something has been missing from my “home” and it has kept me from actually writing a blog post for almost a month. I’ve gone weeks without putting my thoughts on screen and it’s all because I don’t want to write bullshit.

So much has been happening around the world. We have a fraternity that was caught on tape, singing about hanging niggers from a tree. President Obama made history by celebrating the 50th anniversary of the march in Selma. Stars are coming “out” on the The Ellen DeGeneres Show. Black actors and actresses are finally getting leading roles on prime-time television. Some big things are happening and I still don’t have anything to write about. Why? Because the rest of the world is writing about the same damn thing. I love talking about pop culture and to tell you the truth, it brings in many readers. But, I want something much greater than the next Necolebitchie.com. I want to really make a difference. I want to become the best writer that I can be and not for all of you, but for me.

I’m in the midst of a season of change and I’m embracing it. I have shared all of my ups and downs, my epiphanies, my ideas, my everything on Danithedreamgirl.com and I will continue to do so. No matter what comes of my site, just know that I don’t want to just feed all of YOU the same old crap that you see on every other blog site. I want my ish to mean something. Ahhhhh, now that I’ve gotten all of that off of my chest, I can breathe again.

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Are You Sacrificing Your Brand?

The word “brand” is thrown around a lot, especially if there is something at stake. However, at times I feel like it’s such a common term that its importance gets lost in translation and not enough people treat it with care. For me, brand recognition is major! I see logos and names and images that are associated with huge companies like Nike, Pepsi, Sony, even Target, and I realize how much success can come when a consumer recognizes you! Keeping this in mind, how do you know if a business move will help or hurt your brand? I haven’t started mass branding my logo yet (shirts, bags, business cards, etc.), but when I do, I’ll be careful where I attach myself. For example, I won’t want to put my logo in the NRA monthly news letter, but I may want to buy some ad space with VIBE Magazine. Here are a few things that I will look for:

1. Does it represent DANItheDreamgirl in the best light?

2. Will I be reaching out to my target demographic?

3. Will I see a return on my investment (followers, hits, etc.)

What things do you keep in mind when attaching your brand to things?

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Monday’s Lesson: When Your “Success” Turns You Into An A$$hole!

Yup! I said it! Ever watch someone on television as a regular reality “star” and then see them after a few episodes air and they’re stunting? They start brushing “fans” off or turning down interviews or begin wearing things that they still probably can’t afford…overall, they THINK they are bigger than what they actually are! Let’s be real, in about ten years, you’re not going to even be recognized. Maybe it’s not just people on television…ever see people on your Facebook feed or Twitter timeline who are always “on” for the cameras?! They just HAVE to let every…single…person…know…every…freaking…step or brag about every single thing that they own.

My Monday lesson goes out to all of you who I described above. Learn to humble yourselves, understand that whatever success you have achieved, is a blessing and can be taken away in a split second. People appreciate genuine individuals that they can relate to, not because of social status, but because of the wisdom and thoughtfulness and originality that you may bring to the table.

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Write About What’s Hot! Or Not? ~Become a Blogger Mondays!

I often struggle with the decision to write about current events on my site because I don’t want it to ever become a gossip site. I don’t knock gossip sites, but the purpose of Danithedreamgirl.com is to inspire others to follow their dreams. So, where do current events fit in, in the Dreamworld? I have asked myself this question at least a hundred times! The conclusion that I’ve come up with is, they fit in wherever I want them to. I have to keep reminding myself that this is my site and what I choose to put out there is solely my decision. However, there is also a healthy balance in being true to the people that follow my blog. So, here is what I do when I have the urge to say how happy I am about Kim Kardashian and Kanye West having a baby (for example):

1. I hone in on why the particular event is important enough for me to write about, i.e. what moves me, what makes it important, how will it encourage my readers.

2. I stay true to myself first and foremost, then I stay true to my readers.

I learned from Angel’s Laws of Blogging that if you don’t have anything to write about, it’s better to not write anything at all! Basically, I write what I want and I don’t force it.

3. I do my research.

It’s so important to pay attention to what’s “poppin” out there. I don’t want my site to become an open journal for the world to see, filled with a ton of things that nobody cares about reading. Instead, I want it to be a place where people can read about examples of others following their dreams, as well as, highlighting the exciting events taking place around us all.

Find the balance and the rest will fall into place! Happy Blogging!

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You Can Use Your Power for Good or for Evil! -B.B.M.

Welcome to another segment of Become a Blogger Mondays! As a writer, a lot of power falls within our grasp. People can talk as much as they want, but putting something into print or into the cyber world holds weight. An imprint is left and can be accessible to billions in a matter of seconds. With that said, there comes a time when you must make a decision and choose to use this power for good or for evil. Example, I recently went through a situation where I lent someone money (mistake number one). I was promised a return that same weekend, so I took their word for it and was optimistic that this person would not let me down (mistake number two). Well, it’s been almost three weeks and this person has managed to disappear into the abyss somewhere lol. I could easily do a post where I reveal this person’s identity and include a photo (which I contemplated) only to embarrass the heck out of them, but I chose to hold off on that idea and take the high road (for now…Jesus take the wheel!). So, if you see a mention of this said person on my site again, it will be because I still haven’t received my money and I have climbed over the fence, cleared the barbwire and landed on the evil side of the cyber world.

If you had a choice, what would you use your power for…good or evil?

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What Should You Do When Life Takes Over?- B.B.M.

Hello, world! Welcome to another installment of Become a Blogger Mondays! I’ve noticed that some of the main blogs I follow seem to never stop. It’s as if the person’s site is operating 24 hours and no beats are skipped. Naturally, that makes me go “YIKES!” because, as you all know, I don’t blog 24 hours a day. I’m still learning the ropes, therefore I notice major details like this and I wonder what makes the popular sites so popular! I’ve come to a couple of conclusions and one of them being that you can never tell when “life” takes over. I’ve got to be better at posting even when I have SO much going on (I’m slapping my own hand right now). The other conclusion that I came to is that they must be so successful that they have a staff of writers to help them out. They must be on a “life” schedule so that when “it” happens, someone else is there to pick up the slack. So, in ultimate conclusion, I don’t feel that bad anymore lol. When LIFE happens, just go with the flow and hope that a ghost writer shows up to help you soon (hee hee)! Happy Monday folks!

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Is it a Dream or is it Jockin’? – B.B.M.

Well helloooooooooo, world! No, I haven’t totally gotten rid of my Become a Blogger Mondays series, but you all know that I won’t write if I’m not feeling it. With that said, we can all assume that there must be SOMEthing that I’m feeling! I’ve sat back and watched and observed and pondered and…OK you get the point! I’ve just been taking note of all the brains going a million miles a minute. I’ve paid attention to those around me who are pursuing their dreams and it’s so great to see the creative wheels turning…it’s a source of inspiration for everyone when this happens.

However, I think for some it’s just a fad. Like, do you get the impression that everyone has a blog? Or a clothing line? Or they make jewelry? Or they rap? Or they sing? That kind of annoys me. It makes me wonder, are you doing this for you? Or are you doing this just because you want to be like everybody else? Or because you THINK this is how you can get rich? If it’s coming from the heart and it’s something that you genuinely love to do or you take seriously, I 100% support it, but if I get the feeling that you’re just doing it “just because” then I may give you that “look”. Follow your dreams and passions, but make them your own…add your own spin to it…be original and even when it gets hard, KEEP going…that’s how I can tell if you’re really about business or just herding with the masses.

Let others inspire you, but don’t become them! BE YOU!

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Blog Even When You Don’t Want To: Become a Blogger Mondays!

Do you think that it’s all just peaches and cream around here? As if every week I want to write and write and write? I hate to burst your cyber bubble, but that’s just not the case (lol). I do have days, maybe even weeks, when I just don’t feel like blogging…there…I admitted it…go call the blogging police and have me arrested! Sometimes I get angry phone calls from my BFF and friends and it basically goes something like this:

Friend: Dani, WHAT THE HELL is wrong with you?!

Me: What are you talking about?

Friend: Why haven’t you been blogging? GET IT TOGETHER!

Me: Geez! Fine! Can I take a week off sometimes?

Friend: Don’t make me cuss you out!

That’s my life! Getting threats on the regular (lol)! So, with that said, here is my weekend recap! Even though I don’t feel like doing it because I’m still recovering and oh-so-tired, I’m “getting it together” for my Become a Blogger Mondays series:

1. I had a GREAT time this weekend! It started with a retro themed party for my second mom who is 50 and FABULOUS! It took me forever to get my outfit together, but I finally chose to dress like a back-in-the-day girl with the victory curls, the scarf around the neck, the tapered black pants and a cute sweater. My hair was the highlight of my night since it took me forever to get it just right. Here you go! A peek at the finished product:

2. My Saturday day/night was somewhat crazier! My homie, Joy, came over to help me pack (yes, I’m moving!) and in between celebration shots (yes, I drink!) we ate and danced and just goofed out all the way! As I mentioned on Friday, we went to see Kevin Hart perform (he was hella funny) and then we club hopped until about 4am! It was definitely a night to remember and here we are, about to head out (excuse the mess on the floor, I am moving/packing after all)!

3. I wish I could say that I did something just as fun on Sunday, but I spent most of the day sleeping and nursing myself back to normalcy (lol)!

What did you do this weekend? Was it fun? Was it crazy?

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Become a Blogger Mondays: It’s Time to Piggyback!

Sooooo, remember that whole segment I did about getting yourself out there when you’re a new blogger? About how it’s important to grow your brand and network? REMEMBER? No? Ok, well, this is where I told you that it’s important to SPREAD YOUR WINGS! I’m going to piggyback off of that post and share an example of what I do to get out there on occasion. I like to cover events that are happening in the DC area and recently I’ve been volunteering for Lazy Panda! Don’t remember who they are? Well, go back to my post about being at Trillectro because I was hanging with them there also!

I attended the most recent H Street festival and not only volunteered with helping Lazy Panda out, but I got to snap some pretty cool pics also! Check out my skills: