Every once in a while, I like to step away from the mainstream BS and get grounded. I will preface this post by saying, I don’t go to church every Sunday like I used to, so the spiritual simulation that I receive is something I have to really work for and desire enough to seek. With that said, I really spend a lot of my off days thinking, meditating, being by myself, writing, etc.
A thought came to me recently and I began wondering, why do I lend the world so much of myself? Think about it. You want to remain valuable at work so you do the best you can and put in extra hours, pick up other people’s slack, go above and beyond. You want to get in shape so you watch what you eat, go grocery shopping, diet. You want your partner to be happy so you take them on a date, buy them something nice, talk about things, cook a romantic dinner, sacrifice. Whatever it is that you do, think about all of the energy that you put out on a daily basis… what’s left for just you? How are you happy as an individual?
When a relationship or job suddenly ends, what’s the first thing that you think? All of the sacrifices I made, the time, the work… wasted. Sure, there are lessons, but the feeling of disappointment is prominent. I’m learning that if we (the people in this world) begin to take more time for ourselves, if we keep a little something within, if we don’t give everything to the world, we can avoid that feeling.
Personally, in giving so much, I tend to lose myself and I know some of you can relate. I often remind myself that it’s OK to not let everyone in, to not divulge my life, to not always be the one to sacrifice, to keep a little something just for me. Learning this balance has been a constant battle, but I will get there.