Soul Searching

Are You Giving Too Much To The World?

Hello, Dreamers!

Every once in a while,  I like to step away from the mainstream BS and get grounded.  I will preface this post by saying,  I don’t go to church every Sunday like I used to, so the spiritual simulation that I receive is something I have to really work for and desire enough to seek.  With that said,  I really spend a lot of my off days thinking,  meditating, being by myself,  writing, etc.

A thought came to me recently and I began wondering,  why do I lend the world so much of myself?  Think about it.  You want to remain valuable at work so you do the best you can and put in extra hours,  pick up other people’s slack,  go above and beyond.  You want to get in shape so you watch what you eat, go grocery shopping,  diet. You want your partner to be happy so you take them on a date,  buy them something nice,  talk about things,  cook a romantic dinner, sacrifice.   Whatever it is that you do, think about all of the energy that you put out on a daily basis… what’s left for just you?  How are you happy as an individual?

When a relationship or job suddenly ends,  what’s the first thing that you think?  All of the sacrifices I made,  the time,  the work… wasted. Sure, there are lessons,  but the feeling of disappointment is prominent.  I’m learning that if we (the people in this world) begin to take more time for ourselves,  if we keep a little something within,  if we don’t give everything to the world,  we can avoid that feeling. 

Personally, in giving so much, I tend to lose myself and I know some of you can relate.  I often remind myself that it’s OK to not let everyone in,  to not divulge my life,  to not always be the one to sacrifice,  to keep a little something just for me.  Learning this balance has been a constant battle,  but I will get there. 

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Can People F*ck Up Your Journey?

First things first,  yes, I cussed in my title…it’s ok.  Now,  I’ve been going back and forth about this topic for a while,  but mostly through random thoughts in my head.

So many of us are on a profound journey that we want the world to take notice of,  but have you ever thought about the world not wanting what’s best for you?

I mean,  let’s be real,  do you honestly believe that all of your friends are happy for you?  I’ll be the one to burst your bubble; they aren’t!  That’s because not everyone is your friend.  Not everyone is in a healthy place where they can be happy for others.  That place can be a breeding ground for envy and jealousy, so we all have to be careful.  We can also have individuals around us that just aren’t good people.  They only care about their journey and their life; in other words,  selfish.

People can genuinely f*ck up your journey!  Friends,  coworkers,  exes, boyfriends,  girlfriends,  family… all opportunities to derail your path.  One bit of advice I can offer,  from experience of course,  when people walk out of your life,  allow them.  You don’t need them.  If you give life to any negativity,  you’ve opened the door to unnecessary drama and distractions.

Here’s what YOU can do in the midst of dealing with others… continue to love,  shine light,  stay focused.  The universe will work everything else out,  trust me.

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Change

When change comes about,  don’t fight it. Sometimes it’s best to let it be and not search for understanding.  I believe when you go against it, that’s when the darkness wins and your mind no longer belongs to your soul because you begin to worry and panic. 

We get accustomed to routines and schedules and when either are altered,  we realize that we’ve been chained to the idea of what is normal. 

I don’t want to be normal anymore.

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How I’m Making it Through My Storm…

If I sat down and wrote a story about my life over the past few years, you’d wonder how I’m still pushing through each day.  I surprise myself.  I never knew how much strength I had until my closest friends abandoned me, until every door closed in my face,  until I had no choice but to get up each day and try again.  We all go through our own struggles; we face our own storms.   When you are left with nothing in life but your health,  a clean slate and family,  you’ll learn just why God created you the way He did.

All of my experiences in life have prepared me for this very moment.   All of my mistakes have uncovered my strong desire to do better.  All of the untrue people I surrounded myself with helped me to appreciate the loyal ones. 

I’m constantly discovering a new part of me that I didn’t even think existed.  When I look back on MY life thus far, I’m confident that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be and I won’t allow tough times or bad experiences to defeat me.   All of life’s happenings push me to set new goals,  take risks and to not settle.

I’m getting through my storm because I’m realizing that it’s not a storm… it’s a transformation.

You may not control all the events that happen to you,  but you can decide not to be reduced by them.   ~Maya Angelou

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Crystal Changed Her Life & Became an Insanity Instructor!

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Everyday we see so many advertisements for losing weight without working out or slimming your waist within days by popping a pill…both of which seem highly unhealthy.  It’s rare to see someone who actually takes the necessary steps in eating right and exercising to lose weight.  I struggle daily with my weight and my body image.  I went from being an extremely healthy athlete to overweight when I started college in 2001.  I haven’t been able to get back to my old self since then.  I walk around with weight that I’m not used to and actually motivating myself to get in the gym and stick with it is really hard.  So, one day I was on the computer and saw a post from one of my Facebook friends.  The post read:

 

Don’t chase your dreams CATCH THEM! If you would have told me 10 months ago that I would make a career out of helping others get in shape and that I would be a CERTIFIED INSANITY INSTRUCTOR, I would have laughed in your face! It still seems so surreal to me that I, Crystal Hughey, am a successful Beachbody Coach. I’m just a girl who struggled with fitness but finally decided to anchor down and get serious about getting healthy.

This year is all about stepping outside of my comfort zone. Last year I stepped out of my comfort zone by becoming a Coach. That decision was the best decision of the year so I decided to do more things that scare me. My 2014 Vision Board is full of things that scare me (like getting Insanity Certified and paying off my student loans in one year). I like to set my goals high and give myself huge challenges.

“Move out of your comfort zone. You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.” ~Brian Tracy

 

In reading this, I got chills…like serious chills.  Maybe if I show you all a timeline of Crystal’s journey you may understand why her story hits home.  Check out her transformation:

 

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Now, do you see why I look upon Crystal with such admiration?!  She and I don’t interact with one another on a daily basis, but I did reach out to her and ask if she’d be alright with me sharing her story.  There was no interview conducted, no heart to heart, no exchanging of life stories, just pure and organic respect for someone who worked their butt off to get to where they are now.  When you are at a low point in life and the cards seem to be stacked against you, seeing someone take hold of their life is sometimes the best antidote to fixing something with yourself.  She barely knows me and vice versa, but seeing her journey unfold on Facebook, of all places, has really shown me that it is possible.  Hopefully, Crystal can spark something in you like she did for me!  Thanks, Crystal and congrats on becoming a Certified Insanity Instructor!

 

If you want to follow more of Crystal Hughey’s journey, check out her site: Fitness With Chris

 

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*New Music* Jazmine Sullivan ft. Meek Mill, “Dumb”

Jazmine Sullivan

 

It has been a while since we’ve heard some new music from Jazmine Sullivan.  She finally released a new track, Dumb, which features Philly rapper, Meek Mill.  Check out the audio below and let us know what you think.

 

 

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The Power of Letting Go

 

I don’t think this post should be taken as a sad declaration of moving on from people and things in life.  The intention behind it is to simply state the obvious…letting go is hard, but sometimes necessary.  Having goals and even setting them requires a clear head and a sense of focus that cannot be attained as long as there is clutter all around you.  Recently, I’ve noticed that letting go (although tough) is more manageable for me and not just because I’m getting older or more mature, but because I put myself as a priority.  I used to be the type of person to give chance after chance, especially when I should have just walked away, but not anymore.  However, I still am the type of person that holds onto “things” because I have formed some version of an emotional attachment to them.  When I moved out of my last apartment I decided that I wanted to begin a new tradition of leaving behind anything that I didn’t need  and the same can go for some people in my life.  I am learning that in order for me to be the best DANIELLA, I need to place myself first among the list of people that I care about.

 

During this transition phase of my life, I have changed the way I date, I’ve adjusted the leisure activities I partake in, I allow people who treat me badly to choose which door they want to walk out of and I don’t give second chances.  What I do for me may not work for the next person, but I have made the decision to become immersed in my tunnel vision.  At the end of the tunnel, all I see is my success.  The people, places and things that I come in contact with are mere obstacles, manifestations of my own thoughts, the energy I put out and the fate that God has in store for me.  Those are the things that I either can’t control, blessings or the things that I have brought on myself from negative thoughts/actions.  If I can get through that tunnel of LIFE and only take with me what I need, then I can have all the success that I work so hard for.

 

Someone taught me a huge lesson this past week.  My happiness is MY choice and since it is my choice, I have to create my own bubble where no one can touch my tunnel that leads to MY success.  Life isn’t as difficult as some make it; it’s actually just the movie version of the script you’ve written for yourself.  To all of my readers, it’s time to let some shit go…pick one thing or person that isn’t contributing to your success and LET…IT..GO!

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Would You Alter Your Dream For Love?

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking in regards to where I want to be in the next few years. Along the way it has become painfully obvious that no matter how much we plan, God has the ultimate say-so.  So, with that in mind, I can have hopes and dreams and pray that I am moving in the right direction, but I have to be prepared for things to just not go as I may want them to.

If I reflect on the past few years, there are many things that I’ve wanted to accomplish, but for some reason I meet someone special, things get put on hold, and before I realize it, years have passed and I’m left regretting not doing more for myself.  Of course life lessons came out of each experience, so I can’t be too mad at myself, but I do often wish I’d been just a tad selfish.

If I had to answer my own question, I’d say, “no, I would not alter my dream for love” because I’ve altered, paused, forgot, abused and neglected my dreams for love before.  Anyone who truly loves me will join me for the ride and support me along the way.

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Would You Be Willing to Give Up Everything for Personal Happiness?

We all must walk our own path in life.  No one person in this world can live our life for us.  That means that we all possess an immense amount of power, starting at birth.  However, most don’t even know the tools that they are equipped with to help them on their journey through existence.  Think about even the most basic of tools such as tear ducts.  Who knew that we would have a tiny hole on our bottom lids to release fluids?  When we are upset, hurt, happy, etc. we can release those emotions through tears.  Imagine if you had to keep those emotions inside; how weird or traumatized would our bodies feel?  Let’s take it a step further.  What about our limbs?  We have limbs to help us run, walk, jump, crawl, roll, dive, swim, hike, flip, etc.  In danger, we can move fast.  In competition, we can excel. We are able to work, play and survive.  Humans have intricate organs to keep them alive and healthy and are given the most important muscle of all; a brain.  This isn’t an anatomy class; this is understanding that we have everything we need, to make decisions for ourselves and to work for the things we want in life.  So, why are people stuck in their unhappiness when they can essentially create any situation that they want to be in?

We are attached to personal things and create a false sense of value for ourselves that eventually clouds our judgement.  We work crazy jobs with long hours and unhealthy environments, just to be able to pay bills.  Daily routines are established that produce robots out of people who are meant to be extraordinary.  So, I ask the question again…would you be willing to give up everything for personal happiness?  All of the things and people that you are personally attached to, could you let them go?  Could you jump out in the world with only your God-given tools and make something of yourself?  Instead of working to pay bills, could you work to travel and enjoy life?  True happiness isn’t being able to afford the best things, it’s being able to feel fulfilled without.

I’ve heard this preached to me many times, I’ve read books to explain this concept, I’ve tried to adopt the principles of such a lifestyle.  However, I just never allowed myself to fully live in the premise because I was too attached to what I thought was happiness.  It wasn’t until I lost the “things” that I was attached to, that I began to think in a different way.  All of the attachments I had used to make me feel safe and protected.  I was able to pay rent and bills, I had friends whom I became dependent upon too much, I was comfortable.  My world was shaken when I lost my comfortable job of four years.  I had no clue which way was up and I was devastated.  But, then I realized…it was a sign.  I would have never left my job.  I was good at it, it paid my bills and I had my routine down.  Now, I realize that I was just going through each day with no sense of living in the “now”.  Days, months and even years had passed and I didn’t have much personal happiness to show for all of the time invested.

Fast forward to present day.  I’m in a basic job where I serve.  How much money I make is dependent upon the level of effort that I want to put in.  I don’t work everyday, I pretty much make my own schedule.  I don’t have an apartment anymore that I have to pay an extreme amount of money for.  I have a very tight circle of friends whom I just appreciate for being in my life.  I don’t have it all, but for the first time EVER, I feel so free.  I can pick up and move where I want to, I can take as much time off of work that I want, to just travel and explore, I’m not tied down to material things.  I have so many moments that I didn’t have before.  I don’t just feel happy; I AM happy.  Can you say the same?

“We don’t grow out of comfortable situations…we really start to grow when it’s uncomfortable for us.” ~A Friend

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