A Road Less Traveled.

I think we all reach points in our life when there’s a fork in the road. We have the choice to either go left or right, not knowing which direction is the correct one. I’m more of a choose-neither-kind-of-gal and see what happens if I go straight! It’s how I’ve chosen to live my life and whether or not it was ever the best decision for me, it’s gotten me to THIS very point in my life. Do I have regrets? Sure do. Are there things that I would change if I could? Absolutely. However, in the end, all of the choices that I have made for myself, were means to a lesson. So, what sort of things have I learned? I’m blessed even when I don’t get all that I pray for, I love like it’s going out of style, I’m stronger than I give myself credit for, I will forgive someone a million times without them doing the same for me, and most of all, I am able to accept the consequences for my actions even if “in the moment” I don’t want to.

On the other hand, something that I struggle with DEEPLY is accepting the criticism of others. Because my heart is so big and I love so hard, sometimes I feel like I can’t do much to offend those that I love the most, but I now know that this is so far from the truth. I’ve had people teach me some crazy lessons recently and their words have stuck in my head. I’m guilty of holding some to such a high standard that is virtually impossible for them to ever meet. When they fail at living up to my “standards” I am the first one there to make them aware of their mistake. I’m also guilty of being so easily filled with anger when my feelings are hurt and what’s inside of me comes out through my words…words that can be hurtful. I’m also very emotional and with emotions come blurred judgments. And these are just a few.

You may be wondering why I’m disclosing any of this. Well, I believe that it is our (the world’s) responsibility to openly share parts of our journey that could prove to be helpful to others. I want to be the best representation of myself to the world and as I grow, I realize that no matter how many times I fail or I fall down or I take the wrong path at the fork in the road, I still have to live with myself. I still have to look in the mirror and look into the eyes of the person staring back at me. One thing I am sure of is, I am completely grateful for the people that have stuck by my side. I am forever grateful for those that have chosen to make me a better person rather than giving up even when I made it the easy option. It is because of them that I have lifelong friends, strong family ties and the motivation to be a better woman.

With this in mind, I made a list. A list of things that I want to work on within me because whether I choose left, right or straight, the path begins and ends with the person walking it…and I want to be a wise traveler.

1. Cut back on cussing (totally a work in progress, but the change starts now-words are powerful)

2. Listen to others speak, more than I listen to myself speak

3. Start admitting when I am wrong

4. Tell my family/friends “thank you” and “I appreciate you” more than I point the finger

5. The people that walk away…let them!

It’s a small list, but it’s my start. No one is perfect, so I challenge you to make your own and do your best to stick with it!

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Can You Call it Support When it’s Done from the Shadows?

It’s been such an exciting time in my life, getting the chance to take a sneak peak into the lives of others, some complete strangers. However, it seems fitting to take a step back and say “hello” to my readers and share a story. In anyone’s life, there are highs and there are not-so-highs (better than saying lows), but there are lessons in everything that we go through. I’ve decided to share one of the lessons that I came away with, with all of you…maybe you can let me know your take on it. Before I begin, my question to you is: What’s your idea of showing support?

When you put your thoughts, your craft, your goal(s) on display for the world to see (and critique) that can be scary, as I’ve mentioned in previous posts. One thing that can help someone work through the anxiety and pressure is the support of others (friends, family, significant other, etc.). There is NOTHING that can replace a “good job” or “great post” or “wow! your site is so cool” or “amazing interview”…you get the point! You want to know that the people you hold close are out there taking time to “support” you in your endeavor. How would you feel if, someone that you were really close to, supported from the “shadows” in a place where you couldn’t see or recognize it? Would that support still count? Would you still call it “support” if you didn’t know that they were even giving it to you? That’s exactly what happened to me. I won’t use any names, we’ll call them Dasher, but the person reading this from the shadows, will know that this is about them (keep in mind, I can’t tell who is reading my blog, unless they tell me directly or they leave a comment). Dasher expressed that leaving a comment on my blog is my way of wanting “their presence to be known to everybody” when I already know they are the “type of person who lives in the shadows.” So, basically it’s wrong for me to expect them to do such a thing when I already know it’s not in their nature.

Here’s my take on it. What the f**k does that mean? I secretly laughed out loud in shock. Something about that is just plain old conceited. To think, they believe the only reason I want them to leave a comment or show me they are there, is because I want THEIR presence to be known. HA! As if! This is really what it’s about…read and pay attention! When I care about someone enough to spend time with them, share moments, or even talk to them, or call them my friend, that automatically makes them somewhat special to me because I don’t do that, with or for, just anyone. As I draw closer to them and build trust, there’s no hiding that they are special…my light naturally shines through. When you have that inner light shining, there’s no such thing as living in the shadows. Therefore, whatever they are working on or pursuing, I naturally want to let them know, “I support you!” It may not be every day, but at some point I will show my support OUTWARDLY and not because I want the world (a.k.a. “everybody”, as Dasher said) to see, but because I would be so proud.

The Lesson I Learned: Not everyone shows support in the same way, that’s fine. However, it’s crucial to let those you love and care about, know that you recognize their efforts and success.

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He’s a Man With More than Just “Love Games”

When you hear his name, you may not recognize it unless you are an avid Love Games fan, but he’s certainly on his way to stardom. After I saw one episode I was hooked and not because the show was the best on television, but because he grabbed my attention. That person was Matthew Goodman, a.k.a. Matt. Of course some would see his handsome look and pretty smile and think the obvious, but there was a feeling of genuine charm that couldn’t be ignored. He stood out from the others and I knew I had to get a deeper peek into what he was all about. I took a chance and requested an interview with the young man and of course, in true southern gentleman fashion, he agreed to give his fans a sneak peak into his world.

Native to Atlanta, GA Matt knew at a young age that he wanted to be in the lime light and show the world what he was made of. So far, it looks as though he is succeeding with his goal! He’s been seen in films such as, Stomp the Yard 2: Homecoming and 5 Days in the Day “A”. He was also featured as a cast member on BET’S College Hill Atlanta Season 5, as well as, BET’s 106 & Park and Spring Bling. You may have also seen him showing off his skills on Showtime at the Apollo’s Dance Competition in 2006, where he won over the crowd 3 times! Matt’s most recent camera time has been captured on Oxygen’s Love Games, where he was chosen as the winner who found love with Bad Girl’s Club voodoo vixen, Judi. He explains, “Love Games was a more intimate, personal level that people were able to view me in. I feel that it was an exposure platform for what is to come in the near future…”

Not only is he making his way through Hollywood, but he’s also making his way through Atlanta by helping out local organizations and foundations such as, the Ludacris Foundation and the Boys and Girls Club. He spends his free time helping out and giving back; something that is becoming very rare among those finding success. When asked what he wanted the first thing people thought of when they heard his name he said, “Real, Ambitious, Intellectual, Gentleman, Humble. Evenly spread across the board, these words best describe me as an ever-evolving individual.”

His answer alone is unique, therefore it seems only fitting that his career take the same mold. Matthew isn’t just interested in being on the big screen, but he also has musical aspirations that include rapping, writing, producing and performing across the globe. He is slated to release his EP by Spring 2012. My main goal is to always uncover what inspires someone to keep pushing and the things that keep Matt pursuing his music and television are simple. In his words:

The love and passion for music, as well as television and film, is what continues to drive me to pursue my career as I do. Secondly, the support and feedback that I receive from people everyday plays a huge role in where I’m currently at in my career.

With dreams of success in mind, Matt is charting his own territory in the industry, but inquisitive minds may wonder how he won’t be sucked into the world of being just an ordinary reality star. Let’s face it, it’s the new fad for young people making their rise to fame, but if you are one of the individuals left to wonder if he will fall victim, check out how he plans on NOT allowing this to happen:

I plan on making sure that reality T.V. success won’t niche me as a typical “reality T.V. star” by constantly reinventing myself and who I am as a person. You’re not the same person you were a year ago, not even a few months ago. With that being said, there is always room for growth and improvement. I have lifelong business, as well as, personal goals I’ve set for myself and being young, complacency is not an option nor an excuse.

Well, there you have it. He just may be as unique as he seems and driven to go against the norm. My interview is just a small peak into the world of someone who is clearly destined for something big, but the glimpse may inspire others to stick with their goals and attain their own success, such as Matthew Goodman. So, what is his God-given purpose in life? He tells his fans:

I feel that because I am still alive and breathing, I have not yet fulfilled my ideal God-given purpose. Nevertheless, I feel that I have a special gift in communicating with people. I’m a people person and I would love to reach different ethnicities and cultures, through music and artistic expression.

His journey is picking up speed and I can’t help but be excited for what’s to come of this young, humble, intellectual and ambitious young man’s life and career. One thing’s for sure, the right attitude goes a long way and for that alone, greatness is definitely in his future.

If you want to learn more about Matthew, visit his website: http://www.matthewdgoodman.com/

You can also check out this clip of the Love Games Season 3 Finale: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L3ZBXSbRpu8

As always, another story of hard work and dedication proves to have a pay off. This is just another sign that there are plenty of dreams to be had in the Dreamgirl’s world!

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