I already know that this post is going to raise some eyebrows and cause some strong side-eyes. So, before I get into the meat of what I’m about to say, just know that I accept the adverse reactions, but my opinion is what it is and if you read to the end, it’s really not that bad…I promise.
This post arose from a recent story I’ve been following about how Empire actor, Terrence Howard, wanted to begin using it on Fox’s hit show. The show is centered around a family that builds a hip-hop empire, with each family member rapping, singing, producing, or managing in some capacity. Terrence feels that using “nigga” on the show would add authenticity since it’s used in every day conversations within the Black community. After thinking about this concept for a few days, I immediately got uncomfortable, but I couldn’t understand what was making me feel so uneasy. After all, I use the word on a very regular basis. Then I heard Taraji P. Henson’s interview (she also stars on Empire) and it made sense. She said it perfectly; the world isn’t ready for that. National television isn’t the place for it’s use, but if Empire were a movie or on cable TV, then it would certainly be added to the script.
So, I’m asking myself on a daily basis now: if the world isn’t ready, than what does my use of the word mean in my everyday life? Am I a bad person because I say, “nigga”? No. I believe I fall into a category of people who really don’t think there’s anything wrong when using it within the Black community, among our peers. Let’s be honest…the word has become a part of OUR culture. However, I will admit that I hate when I hear any race outside of Black, using IT. Hell, I even hate when I hear my Puerto Rican family members using the word. Of course, it’s a part of daily vocabulary, but I can’t ignore the fact that I may be contributing to why it is so common. What would happen if a prime-time TV show began incorporating “nigga” into its script? All hell would break loose; that’s exactly what would happen.
With so many tensions rising between police officers and the Black community and there being consistent reminders that racism is very much alive, it may not be that the world isn’t ready, but maybe it’s just bad timing. The reality is, even though I feel comfortable enough to use the term loosely, there are people in this world who really hate it, are offended by it, are hurt by it, feel belittled by it, consider it to be racist. I feel like those are the ones who we need to be mindful of. Freedom of speech is an American liberty that I enjoy, but even reading the title of my blog post today, some may have cringed or gotten enraged. Will I ever change this form of expression I’ve so openly embraced? Not sure.
Please don’t take my distance from the the cyber world as a sign of neglect for my blog site. But, you know when you walk into your house or apartment and it just doesn’t feel like home? Like it’s missing something? Maybe you have to go to Ikea and grab the perfect couch or the perfect coffee table. Maybe you need to put up some family pictures or pieces of art. Whatever IT is that’s missing, you may feel something in the pit of your stomach that reveals itself and doesn’t go away until you’ve found the missing puzzle piece.
Well, that’s kind of what I feel like right now. I love blogging and have developed a safe haven where I can freely express myself, on my own terms. However, lately I’ve felt like something has been missing from my “home” and it has kept me from actually writing a blog post for almost a month. I’ve gone weeks without putting my thoughts on screen and it’s all because I don’t want to write bullshit.
So much has been happening around the world. We have a fraternity that was caught on tape, singing about hanging niggers from a tree. President Obama made history by celebrating the 50th anniversary of the march in Selma. Stars are coming “out” on the The Ellen DeGeneres Show. Black actors and actresses are finally getting leading roles on prime-time television. Some big things are happening and I still don’t have anything to write about. Why? Because the rest of the world is writing about the same damn thing. I love talking about pop culture and to tell you the truth, it brings in many readers. But, I want something much greater than the next Necolebitchie.com. I want to really make a difference. I want to become the best writer that I can be and not for all of you, but for me.
I’m in the midst of a season of change and I’m embracing it. I have shared all of my ups and downs, my epiphanies, my ideas, my everything on Danithedreamgirl.com and I will continue to do so. No matter what comes of my site, just know that I don’t want to just feed all of YOU the same old crap that you see on every other blog site. I want my ish to mean something. Ahhhhh, now that I’ve gotten all of that off of my chest, I can breathe again.
With Valentine’s Day in our rear view mirrors, it’s probably appropriate to talk about the art of breaking up (hee hee). You could say that recent events in my own life have made me stop and think about why breaking up is so hard to do. I personally commend all of those heartless men and women out there who have the ability to sever ties and not look back. Me? I’m like that puppy that knows when you’re going out of town and all they do is whimper and cry as you pack your bags, as if it will change someone’s mind. I mean, call it separation anxiety or being a softy, but I just don’t break up with people…I just CAN’T do it!
So, here’s MY deal. I get so attached to people, I invest all of my energy into someone that when the time comes and the dreadful downward spiral begins, it just seems impossible. It honestly feels like breaking up would be the equivalent of not having an arm or not being able to breathe…you just can’t imagine that, right?
Can you break up with someone? How do you do it? Is it this insane build up of awkward exchanges then one day you finally break and blurt out, “YOU CAN’T SIT WITH US?!” like in the movie Mean Girls? Or do you just distance yourself until the other person breaks up with you so that you don’t have to do the dirty work? Or do you just disappear and hope that no one notices? I’m sure someONE must have the answers…right?
Far too often relationships feel like a chore and from a very young age, many of us have heard relationships take work and love is hard. But, I’m not so sure that’s true. If two people are in love, sure, there will be tough times, but shouldn’t it be the ONE thing in life that you don’t have to work at? Shouldn’t it be that “gimme” from God that’s just not too hard? Maybe if being with someone was understood to be just a temporary “thing” then ending it wouldn’t be such a difficult task. At some point I’m sure I’ll have to grow up and put my big girl panties on and learn how to do the breaking up thing, but for now I’ll let the grown-ups master that art. I’m OK with being an incapable 32-year-old sucker!
I’ve pondered for weeks on if I should even write about this. There’s a fine line between touching on a relevant topic and exploiting someone’s real life for gained readers. I came to my decision to write about Bruce Jenner’s transformation because he [and eventually she] will be publicly addressing this major decision and he seems to be very comfortable with the world knowing.
So, here it goes! The former Olympic gold medalist, more recently known for appearing on the hit reality TV show Keeping Up With The Kardashians, is transforming into a woman. Throughout the years, we’ve seen him struggle in his marriage to Kris Jenner and fight to build relationships with his kids. It was easy to feel for the guy. At one point he seemed like the only sane person on the show. With his divorce being very public and documented on TV, we’ve seen less and less of Bruce.
During this down time, rumors of a sex transformation began to surface. At first, it just seemed like a distasteful accusation, but now, reports actually confirm that Bruce Jenner is in fact becoming a woman. Photos of him wearing lipstick, nail polish and having long hair in ponytails started taking over the Internet.
Bruce is said to have confirmed an upcoming interview with Diane Sawyer where he will speak freely about his decision. Not many family members have spoken up with their opinions, but his mother did state, “I am more proud of him now than when he stood on that podium and put the gold medal around his neck. He deserves all the respect” during her Radaronline interview.
Take a look at Bruce’s looks over the years and remember that this is his choice. Everyone has the right to live their life as they see fit. Let’s not judge!
*All images obtained from Google Images
Bobbi Kristina is still unresponsive and according to reports, there is no brain activity and she is breathing with the help of a ventilator. She was found face down in a bathtub at her Roswell, GA home on Saturday. Police searched the house, having gained a search warrant, but didn’t find any drugs out in the open.
Stay tuned for more details as they emerge.
*Image Source: Google Images
Bobbi Kristina, daughter of the late Whitney Houston and singer Bobby Brown, was found unconscious in a bathtub at her Georgia home. She was reportedly found by her husband, Nick Gordon, who gave Bobbi CPR until paramedics arrived. This is eerily similar to how Whitney Houston was found the night she died, 3 years ago.
Bobbi Kristina is now in ICU, in an induced coma, to help reduce the swelling of her brain. The cause has not been identified, but updates will be provided as they are made available.
Prayers for Bobbi Kristina!
Chris Brown is known as the new R&B/Pop bad boy of our time. He’s been in the news for issues surrounding his temper and is currently serving his 1000 hours of community service, of which he still has 100 hours outstanding, for his abuse towards Rihanna and his recent fight with a fan in DC.
In order for Chris Brown to travel, he must gain the judge’s approval and consent. He was slated to go on the road for his Between the Sheets Tour which features Trey Songz and rapper Tyga. However, the judge denied Brown’s request and he will not be able to tour until he completes the remaining community service hours.
Chris released the following apology to his fans via Instagram last night:
When all is said and done, this is unfortunate, but he’s lucky that community service is all he has to serve given the severity of his convictions.
*Image Sources: Instagram
Whether you had a rough week, a busy week, draining past few days, etc., take a moment to be still. I’ve had a pretty rough few years, let alone weeks or days, and I find some comfort in knowing that at any moment I can be still and take some deep breathes.
I have never handled stress too well, therefore need to take moments and force myself to be silent and relaxed. I’ve recently looked to others for inspiration and have began a daily yoga regimen. At some point of each day, I find time to be in total peace and quiet.
What’s your relaxtion method?
*Photo Source: Instagram